The Table

"Around the Christmas table

there's an empty chair this year....

The precious smile is missing

of someone we still hold dear.

And yet our hearts are hopeful,

though the season's bittersweet,

Because we know the one we love

has filled another seat.

For another banquet table

abounds with joy and love

For those who've made the journey

to be with our Lord above. "

This a sweet little poem the funeral home sent us......in a Christmas card......remembering our precious baby girl. The words are so very true! We would love to see her sweet precious little face smiling around our table, but we rejoice in the fact that our darling Caroline is seated at the greatest banquet table ever. We find peace in knowing that our tiny baby girl is being held and loved by our Savior, Jesus Christ. This Christmas, like all of the ones to come, is hard. But, thankfully, God has allowed me to see and focus on ALL of the many blessings we have. I have some very thoughtful and sweet friends, who have remembered us and our little princess this Christmas, and we will always treasure their thoughtful acts of kindness for our family. With sad, yet thankful hearts, we remember our baby Carloine, and with hope we look to the future.

A Few Photos

Here are a few pics of my precious family! We are having a great (BUSY) December! It is so much fun to see Christmas through my children. Rhett and I are so thankful for them, and for the many chances we have to teach them the true meaning of Christmas. I am so very grateful for my sweet husband and how hard he works, and for the amazing Daddy he is! God has blessed us so much!!

"Re-purposing"

He LOVES mommy's shoes!


Wesley thinks it is great to start at the top of our steep driveway and ride his dump truck all the way down........I think this time was a little fast :)!!

These precious little boys (AKA Snoopy and Woodstock) bring us more joy and happiness than we could have ever imagined! They are wonderful little guys, and are both so kind and loving. They LOVE each other and are truly best buddies! I am so glad they have each other to grow up with and get in trouble with! They have stolen my heart, and I thank God for them every day!
The OLDEST Brother.......such a sweet heart, and our little helper. He is so smart and funny. He loves playing soccer and baseball, running, riding his bike, anything trains, and his baby brother!
The LITTLE (OLDER) Brother.....sweetest smile and the best belly laugh. He adores his big brother and does everything Wesley does! He loves playing outside running and jumping, trains, and anything with wheels!

No, typing OLDER brother for Davis was not a mistake! Sometime in the future (we prefer near rather than later), he will become a Big Brother again! He is already a big brother, but he will soon get to experience the joys of having a "younger" sibling living in our home!

Yes, we will hopefully soon be a family of FIVE (or SIX), and we CAN'T WAIT!!!!

And no, I am NOT pregnant this time! We could not be happier or more excited that God has chosen to grow our family again through adoption!! November is national adoption month, and as we have talked a lot about adoption this month, we have also been CRAZY busy getting things started for our new baby. I think it is pretty neat that we heard (well listened to) God leading us to adopt again during the one month of the year that adoption is recognized and given greater support! We are adopting domestically, and have no idea when or where our baby will be born! Once again, we are stepping out on faith, and we could not have a greater peace!

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me".

Matthew 18:5

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, we have been discussing all of the many things we have to be thankful for. I was sharing with our Sunday School class today, that as sad and hard as this year has been for us, I am still very thankful. There is never a day that goes by that I do not think about and terribly miss our precious baby girl. I get sad, I cry, I miss her. But, THANKFULLY, I serve a God that has provided so much grace, peace and unexplainable JOY over the last 9 months. Rhett and I have a wonderful marriage that has grown and deepened in ways we never imagined over the past year, 2 fabulous and healthy little boys, we have a great home, he has a wonderful job, I have the best job in the world :), we have loving supportive families, awesome friends, a fantastic church family, our health, and most importantly a loving and FORGIVING God! Instead of focusing on what we don't have, we are choosing to be thankful and THANK GOD for all he has so graciously blessed us with!

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever".

Psalm 30:11-12

So many people want to know how I do it? How do I make it through and "go on" with life. My answer is always the same.....I don't, HE does it for me. Alone, I could never make it without grief and sadness creeping in and eating away at me. Some days are much harder than others, and I do have BAD days.....days where my heart is literally breaking and all I can think about is the "what if's", and just what if I could hold her one more time. Because I am a Christian, and I have a personal relationship with Christ, HE carries me through those days, and I am so very thankful for that!! I can not imagine going through a trial or tragedy without God by my side. I pray for every one that is sad, missing some one, facing tough days..... that you can cling to God and his promises.....and experience His amazing love, grace, and peace.

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you".

1 Thessalonians 3:16

Happy Thanksgiving! Count your many blessings this week.......I promise if you think there are none, when you think about it, you will be able to name many!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever"!

1 Chronicles 16:34

UPDATE!

We have been crazy busy lately.....lots of changes at our house!

Our laptop CRASHED, and as we have been told has the "screen of death"....NOT good! So since our only computer has been our very OLD, SLOW, desktop.......catching up on our blog has not been one of my priorities! I will be sharing more about one of the main things that has been keeping me sooo busy, but not for a few more days:)! I know every one is dying to know what it is! Trust me it is good, and so worth the wait!! That being said, my sweet husband decided to replace our dead laptop and get us an early (ONLY) Christmas present, and purchased a MacBook Pro for me. I LOVE it!! I do not have any pictures on it yet, but will be posting some soon!

So, there is my (current) excuse for not posting on our blog in forever......I am going to try and do much better in the days to come!

This verse from the Bible has been a great source of encouragement, and God has definitely used it to speak to me lately!!, so I will close with it.....

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God".

-Philippians 4:6

Well.......

Well......I had almost decided to just quit blogging, since it has been such a long time since I have posted anything, and for the simple fact that I just can't seem to find the EXTRA time it takes to do this! But, I do know that we have some very sweet friends and family members that enjoy reading our blog, and seeing our boys, since we do not see them often! So, I decided I would give it one more try?!? I would love to "rewind" and post all about our summer, but that would literally take me months!! I take HUNDREDS of pictures each month, ( I am talking about 300-600), and that would just take me way to long to update with all of those! So, I am just gonna do a quick re-cap.

We had a GREAT summer! We have just enjoyed our sweet little boys so much. We played outside every chance we got (when we were not melting in the 100+) HEAT. My precious boys are little fish, and they LOVE the water. We spent several days at the Y pool, and countless hours in our little pool at home, as well as the sprinklers. It was a pretty common occurrence at our house this summer, to walk by and see our little ones streaking through the sprinklers! Whatever it takes to stay cool:)! They are little monkeys and love the trampoline too. It has been a great way to get that extra energy out! We also made a few trips to Papa and Mimi's, and they came to visit us several times. We LOVE it when Papa and Mimi are here....my boys just can't get enough of them. We even witnessed Papa and Mimi on the trampoline a few times:)! Davis is fascinated with my Dad's car (mini couper), and his boat! He talks about them all of the time! We had a ton of fun playing with all of our friends, and just enjoying no schedules or "places" to be! There is a picture below, documenting Wesley's horrible black eye. He had a little accident with his power wheel! Thankfully, he did not require stitches, and after about five minutes, he was VERY proud of his battle wound! Toward the end of the summer, Wesley also had to have his tonsils out. I will admit it was HORRIBLE! He was miserable, I was miserable, we were all MISERABLE for about 10 days, and then right before his bday, he made a complete recovery (PRAISE GOD)!!!! When we were explaining to him about having his tonsils removed, he said "Mommy, they are gonna put little ones back in, right?" What a sweet precious boy he is! Davis is literally talking in complete sentences, and we have conversations with him! He is not the typical one year old! He is afraid of nothing, and wants to try everything his big brother is doing! They are both just growing and changing so fast....bittersweet! I thank God every day for my precious little blessings, and for sharing them with us!

Wesley and Davis a truly best friends, and they play amazingly well together. I am so thankful for the sweet relationship they have! It is my daily prayer that their relationship will continue to strengthen and grow the older they get, and that they will always be close!

The black eye (busted eye)!

My little animal lover and our new kitten!

Riding Papa's boat

Complete?

Let me first start by apologizing.......it has been such a long time since I have posted anything on here. I am not sure if there is even any one still reading our blog?? I have got to do better! I have probably close to 1,000 pictures on my camera that I must download and edit, and then post of my precious little boys! My intentions are to use this blog as a form of scrap booking, since I just can't seem to find the time to make actual scrapbook pages!! But today, I have another reason for posting.



Over the last five months there has been a tremendous amount of healing in my heart, since the birth/death of our sweet baby girl. Although the pain is better, I know it will never go away! It is a typical practice for us to go to the memorial park where Caroline is buried, every Sunday after lunch. We take the boys with us, and we talk about Caroline, that she is in Heaven with God and Jesus, we show them her grave, and then we blow kisses to her. It is such a rewarding time, while being so sad all at the same time. While our little guys were running around Sunday afternoon, I looked at my sweet husband, with tears in his eyes, and we talked about how much we miss our baby. I can't express to any one what it is like....we just wish we could hold her little body one more time, and whisper sweet I love yous to her. We know that she would never choose to come back to this earth if she could, but oh how we miss her! Each time we visit her grave, we straighten her flowers, dust off the tiny cherub, and admire the precious pink cross her Daddy made for her. I have to admit as I look around at the other graves, and the headstones, I am always a little jealous that our sweet baby's headstone is not in place. But, as strange as it is, sort of glad that it is not, because to me, when her headstone is finished and delivered, that is the true end to our journey. I just can't fathom what it is going to be like to see my precious baby's name on a headstone. We waited for almost 33 weeks to meet her, spent 17 weeks wondering how we would cope with not having her in our arms, and we have spent 20 weeks waiting on the news that her headstone is ready. Today, we found out that her headstone will be delivered tomorrow, and that we can come and view it tomorrow afternoon. I am so happy that it is ready, and I am looking forward to seeing it. We put a lot of time and effort into choosing the perfect cross, the best lamb, and the sweetest angel, so finally getting to see it will be good. But, at the same time, I am flooded with sadness. I know looking at her tiny little grave with her headstone will be bittersweet. For me, it is the end to a long journey, but the beginning of another. It will just seem so final to me. So, if you think about it, just please say a prayer for us tomorrow. It will be hard for me to go and purchase the "perfect" flowers to put on her grave, as well as finally having the opportunity to visit Caroline's completed grave.



" I thank my God every time I remember you". Philippians 1:3

(the verse on her headstone)