Well.......

Well......I had almost decided to just quit blogging, since it has been such a long time since I have posted anything, and for the simple fact that I just can't seem to find the EXTRA time it takes to do this! But, I do know that we have some very sweet friends and family members that enjoy reading our blog, and seeing our boys, since we do not see them often! So, I decided I would give it one more try?!? I would love to "rewind" and post all about our summer, but that would literally take me months!! I take HUNDREDS of pictures each month, ( I am talking about 300-600), and that would just take me way to long to update with all of those! So, I am just gonna do a quick re-cap.

We had a GREAT summer! We have just enjoyed our sweet little boys so much. We played outside every chance we got (when we were not melting in the 100+) HEAT. My precious boys are little fish, and they LOVE the water. We spent several days at the Y pool, and countless hours in our little pool at home, as well as the sprinklers. It was a pretty common occurrence at our house this summer, to walk by and see our little ones streaking through the sprinklers! Whatever it takes to stay cool:)! They are little monkeys and love the trampoline too. It has been a great way to get that extra energy out! We also made a few trips to Papa and Mimi's, and they came to visit us several times. We LOVE it when Papa and Mimi are here....my boys just can't get enough of them. We even witnessed Papa and Mimi on the trampoline a few times:)! Davis is fascinated with my Dad's car (mini couper), and his boat! He talks about them all of the time! We had a ton of fun playing with all of our friends, and just enjoying no schedules or "places" to be! There is a picture below, documenting Wesley's horrible black eye. He had a little accident with his power wheel! Thankfully, he did not require stitches, and after about five minutes, he was VERY proud of his battle wound! Toward the end of the summer, Wesley also had to have his tonsils out. I will admit it was HORRIBLE! He was miserable, I was miserable, we were all MISERABLE for about 10 days, and then right before his bday, he made a complete recovery (PRAISE GOD)!!!! When we were explaining to him about having his tonsils removed, he said "Mommy, they are gonna put little ones back in, right?" What a sweet precious boy he is! Davis is literally talking in complete sentences, and we have conversations with him! He is not the typical one year old! He is afraid of nothing, and wants to try everything his big brother is doing! They are both just growing and changing so fast....bittersweet! I thank God every day for my precious little blessings, and for sharing them with us!

Wesley and Davis a truly best friends, and they play amazingly well together. I am so thankful for the sweet relationship they have! It is my daily prayer that their relationship will continue to strengthen and grow the older they get, and that they will always be close!

The black eye (busted eye)!

My little animal lover and our new kitten!

Riding Papa's boat

Complete?

Let me first start by apologizing.......it has been such a long time since I have posted anything on here. I am not sure if there is even any one still reading our blog?? I have got to do better! I have probably close to 1,000 pictures on my camera that I must download and edit, and then post of my precious little boys! My intentions are to use this blog as a form of scrap booking, since I just can't seem to find the time to make actual scrapbook pages!! But today, I have another reason for posting.



Over the last five months there has been a tremendous amount of healing in my heart, since the birth/death of our sweet baby girl. Although the pain is better, I know it will never go away! It is a typical practice for us to go to the memorial park where Caroline is buried, every Sunday after lunch. We take the boys with us, and we talk about Caroline, that she is in Heaven with God and Jesus, we show them her grave, and then we blow kisses to her. It is such a rewarding time, while being so sad all at the same time. While our little guys were running around Sunday afternoon, I looked at my sweet husband, with tears in his eyes, and we talked about how much we miss our baby. I can't express to any one what it is like....we just wish we could hold her little body one more time, and whisper sweet I love yous to her. We know that she would never choose to come back to this earth if she could, but oh how we miss her! Each time we visit her grave, we straighten her flowers, dust off the tiny cherub, and admire the precious pink cross her Daddy made for her. I have to admit as I look around at the other graves, and the headstones, I am always a little jealous that our sweet baby's headstone is not in place. But, as strange as it is, sort of glad that it is not, because to me, when her headstone is finished and delivered, that is the true end to our journey. I just can't fathom what it is going to be like to see my precious baby's name on a headstone. We waited for almost 33 weeks to meet her, spent 17 weeks wondering how we would cope with not having her in our arms, and we have spent 20 weeks waiting on the news that her headstone is ready. Today, we found out that her headstone will be delivered tomorrow, and that we can come and view it tomorrow afternoon. I am so happy that it is ready, and I am looking forward to seeing it. We put a lot of time and effort into choosing the perfect cross, the best lamb, and the sweetest angel, so finally getting to see it will be good. But, at the same time, I am flooded with sadness. I know looking at her tiny little grave with her headstone will be bittersweet. For me, it is the end to a long journey, but the beginning of another. It will just seem so final to me. So, if you think about it, just please say a prayer for us tomorrow. It will be hard for me to go and purchase the "perfect" flowers to put on her grave, as well as finally having the opportunity to visit Caroline's completed grave.



" I thank my God every time I remember you". Philippians 1:3

(the verse on her headstone)

Happy!

I could not find Wesley a few weeks ago. He was quietly sitting in the kitchen, and just "having a snack"....he was chomping on 2 apples and a pear! So Funny! My sweet precious boys, who truly love each other!! I just love them sooo much!!

My little mini-me....he loves driving his trucks all over the yard!

This sweet baby melts my heart, and his smile is just amazing!

I could this little pumpkin up! He is wonderful, and makes his mommy so happy!

All to Jesus I Surrender

Four months have passed. It is hard for me to believe that exactly four months ago, a few hours after giving birth, we were leaving the hospital, without our baby, headed straight to the funeral home to plan her memorial. The pain of loosing our baby daughter is still so real, and still hurts so bad. Thankfully, we have had a lot of healing over the last four months. While our hearts are still breaking for our loss, we are able to rejoice more and more in Caroline's gain! As we visited her tiny grave today as a family, Rhett and I talked about details of her birth and death, and how at times, it still does not seem real. As we walked away from her grave with our boys, I felt the sadness of not having her in my arms, but thankfully I was reminded of the joy I have in our wonderful boys and what a blessing they are!! I am learning to truly surrender it all to Jesus, because that is the ONLY way I can make it in this world without my precious little girl.

I LOVE this sweet hymn and it has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it is one of God's gentle reminders to let Him take my burdens and worries. Praying you can surrender your "problems" and let Jesus carry you!

**Stop my play list at the bottom if you want to hear the hymn

A Start Over Day

"Start Over". As a child of God, wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, etc., there have been many times I just wanted to "start over". We all have those moments, whether it is an argument with your spouse, loosing patience with your children, failing in your Bible study, disagreement with a family member, not being there for a friend, etc, etc....where we just wish we could start over! I will admit I have experienced all of the above, more than one time.

I am not quite sure when this "start over" began in our family? Somewhere in my disciplining of my precious Wesley, I offered him a chance to "start over". I am sure this came about during a fit that was not being stopped by any form of discipline or reasoning with my ever so stubborn preschooler :).....you all know what I am talking about. I was surprised on this particular day that something so simple calmed my precious child, and he once again became rational....forgetting whatever he was so upset about. I have used this several times with him when the situation seemed appropriate, and it seems to work. This morning, as I was hurrying to get out of the house and run errands, and get everything checked off of my list, Wesley was just beside himself! Nothing was right, everything was "not working", he was refusing to listen and obey, was not sharing...etc, etc. Needless to say, we were having a rough morning! I will admit that after too many time outs to count and one spanking my nerves were frazzled, and I was becoming impatient......not how I like to be with my babies. Wesley was once again sitting in time out, when I asked him to come to the kitchen and have a "talk". In his sweet little boy voice, he looked at me with his big brown eyes, and said "Mommy, I am sorry for being ugly, I am just having a bad day. Can I just start over again?, that will make me be good"! He was truly sorry for being ugly, and really wanted to start over! I just grabbed him in my arms and gave him a big hug, and we talked about being kind to each other, obeying, etc, and we were both very glad to just "start over". The rest of our day has been great, and he has been the complete opposite of this morning!

I know there are a lot of days that I need to do the same thing. I am guilty of being selfish, stubborn, angry, worried...........all of the things my Savior does not want me to be. As I sit here and think about my precious little boy, and trying to parent him, I realize that God is teaching me a big lesson too!! I just love the moments when I know He is speaking to me through my children. I have been worried about things that should not worry me, stubborn and trying to make plans, frustrated that my baby girl is not living this life with us, and many more! I know that my God is in control, and He loves me, and His ways are PERFECT. I know that my sweet Caroline is safe in His arms, the same arms that have held me, and will continue to hold me. I know all of this, but I am human; a sinner; and I think I need to "start over". I am so thankful that my God loves me enough, and cares for me enough to let me "start over". This road I am walking is tough, God never said following Him would be easy, but He has promised to walk it with me. So, today, I am going to join my sweet Wesley in "starting over"....giving God my worries, sadness, frustrations, stubbornness and many more. It is my prayer that if you are in a rough spot, that you can give it to God and let Him be in control. I speak from experience that when we do that........everything works out for the best, and life is so much sweeter!

"Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning,
great is your faithfulness".

Lamentations 3:21-23

Praising God that HIS mercies are new every morning!!!!

Happy Anniversary!

Nine years ago, God blessed me with the most amazing husband in the world:)!! My sweet hubby and I were so excited to begin our lives together, and absolutely could not wait to be married! We started dating when I was 15......so we have been a couple for over 15 years!! I started praying for my husband when I was about 12 years old, and I know without a doubt that God answered that prayer, when I married my sweet Rhett. I can say with all of my heart that he is my absolute best friend in the whole world, and there is no one else I would ever want to be on this journey with! We have had a fabulous marriage since day 1, and it just keeps getting better! Our wedding vows have truly been "tested" over the last 9 years, and I am so proud to say that we have been able to uphold them. Rhett and I have had some wonderful and amazing times, and we have also endured some very sad and trying times. I am so thankful for the wonderful man God has given me for a husband! I love the way he loves me and the awesome Daddy that he is! Our sweet boys adore their Daddy, and I am so thankful I have gotten to see all of the different roles he has taken on over the last nine years. I am so very grateful for our awesome marriage, and I look forward to many many years to come!!

My parents came to visit us this week, so we were able to go on a fun anniversary date last night! Rhett took me out to dinner at a super yummy restaurant last night, Folk's Folly......if you are ever in Memphis....eat there because it is great! He surprised me this morning with a troll bead bracelet, with four beautiful glass beads, and then initial beads for our three children! I love it:)! He also sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers this morning. I truly am blessed with the best husband in the world, and I thank God for him every day! Happy Nine Years to my very best friend, and the best husband ever!!!

"Save a Place For Me"

This song by Matthew West, was released, right before Caroline was born. I can say that it is one that really spoke to me, and continues to, as I walk this road without my baby. It seems as though every time I am driving in the car to go and visit her grave, this song comes on. Yesterday, Caroline would have been three months old, and as I drove to her grave, once again this song was on the radio. I love my life, and am so thankful for the wonderful blessings I have. I am in awe that God has chosen to share my amazing little boys with me, and for the opportunity to be Wesley and Davis' mommy, but I am excited to know that there is a place for me in Heaven! I WILL get to see my beautiful daughter again!! I pray that you have that same hope and assurance, that without a doubt, you know you will spend an eternity in Heaven!


"Save a Place For Me"


Don't be mad if I cry, it just hurts so bad sometimes,
'Cause every day it's sinking in, and I have to say goodbye all over again.
You know, I bet it feels so good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now,
I'm dreaming of the day when I am finally there with you.

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I have asked the question why
But I guess the answers for another time
So, instead I pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I want to make my home up in the sky just like you did
Oh, but until I get there
Until I get there

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon